I call it.... the WTF conversation

So last night, my boyfriend called me. It started out as a normal conversation, like you know... the typical cliché cupcake phase conversations go... until this happened.
Him: I hate crayons.
Me: They hate you too!
Him: They always break when I use them.
Me: It's because you are sooooo strong and buff with your sexy abs and back muscles.
Him: pshhhh... I know
Me: cocky much?
Him: no.
Me: so you're racist against crayons?
Him: um.. yea I guess
Me: so what if I came to your house with one of those big ass jumbo blue crayons, and slit your throat with it, so your red blood pours down the blue crayon; making a puddle of purple throat blood and crayon wax that smells like defeated justice and empty promises?
Him: I don't know how to react to that....
Me: shhhhhhh.... just let my fantasies happen.


Then after that.... we started talking about the butt-thigh. You know where the top of your thigh and the bottom of your butt cheek meet? That little spot right there, is now called your butt thigh.


After that... He yells WHAT THE F*CK at the top of his lungs.
I freaked out...obviously....
And he comes to tell me that Zach Galifinakis lost a ton of weight. This CANNOT be happening...
I'm gonna miss his fat fluffy self.


Then I fell asleep....


So yea... that happened.