Am I... could I possibly be... SATAN'S CHILD?

When I was in the 8th grade I started listening to this band, Black Veil Brides. They instantly became my favorite band. 8th grade year was rough for me, I went through my very first heartbreak. I started dressing in all black, dark heavy eyeliner.... They called me "emo".... Was emo really the right label. Emo is some stereo-typical label for people who listen to heavy/death metal "screamo" music, shop at Hot Topic, and cut themselves. Well I did listen to heavy metal, I did shop at Hot Topic, and I was going through a rough time where I would cut myself to ease the pain of my aunt's passing... but I wouldn't consider myself "emo". My mom thought it was just a phase, everything would change soon. No one knew about my scars, until second semester... of sophomore year. Things got better freshman year, and the first part of sophomore year. When December of sophomore came, something clicked. To this day I don't know what it was, but I'm happy where I am now. 2 years ago, I got with the wrong crowd... got into drugs and drinking. In February, I was sent to rehab for the first time, for a suicide attempt. At the time, I hated being in there, but looking back it helped me a lot. I have been there a couple times now, and I finally got on the right medication. Through that tough time, music was my only escape. I would listen to Black Veil Brides, because the message they send to their fans is beautiful. I can relate to the lead singer, Andy, because he was bullied in life. One day, my 'great aunt' had to butt in. I hadn't met this woman, so I'm like who the hell is this commenting on my Facebook page? She would say a whole bunch of God stuff, and tell me that the music I was listening to was the devil's music. She told my great uncle who was my grandma's brother, that she was worried about me. To this day, I hate that woman. She started something that the music I listened to was about suicide. Like no, you haven't even listened to them.
I got into paranormal stuff. Like playing with Ouija boards. My life took a turn for the worst...
I've been through counseling, hospitals, rehab...
It is now Senior year. For the first time in 4 years, I can now say I am happy. I am 3 months clean of cutting. I am worried one day I will relapse; but for now I am staying strong, all because of Andy and his music. I still listen to metal.. but that doesn't make me suicidal. The music I listen to is not turning me against God. I am happy the way I am right now.


The message of this blog, is that YOU can overcome ANYTHING. Whether it be a death of a loved one, bullying, .... anything. Just believe in yourself and stick to what you know.
Stay strong! <3

My weekend + belly button blood = CHOCOLATE PUDDING??????

On Thursday, my best friend Ethan, came home from college for a visit. I met him and my other best friend Alison up at McDonald's. It was so great to have the gang back together, since we have all been the Three Musketeers since my sophomore year. It all started in Mr. Stein's French 1 class. All the good memories started there. Then on Friday, the three of us went to the mall. We were all so exhausted so we went home. Saturday was super fun.... except I don't remember most of it. I remember we rented the movie Neighbors and got some Imo's pizza. We went to Alison's house to watch it. That movie was......interesting..... idk how else to explain it..... Then anyways, we said goodbye to Ethan.
Sunday.... I slept all day.




Anyway, today is Wednesday and I thought it was gonna be a good day. Half day of school and then babysitting. Which means I will be at my grandma's house.... which means..... 50000000 cups of CHOCOLATE PUDDING. I usually only get 2... but if I tell my grandma what I woke up to this morning, maybe I will get 4. I woke up this morning.. too early I might add, to realize I overslept the blood red moon thing. Whatever! I felt this stinging like thing on my belly button. I look down to realize my belly button piercing is half ripped out. FANTASTIC...


hopefully today gets better.