Why .. just why

So.. I'm kinda in love with this song. It is.. In my room by Insane Clown Posse...
Don't judge.. it's a good song.
The fan base sucks...... like bad bad
This song is pretty messed up... but it's catchy.
Who falls in love with a ghost...?


I am currently obsessed with this song... Asshole by Ronnie Radke ft. Andy Biersack
Mainly cause of Andy. But whatev...


Okay.. I promise this one is good. Listen to the song They don't need to understand by Andy Biersack. I swear.. this song is perfect.


I'm in love with Hollywood Undead.


And I am gonna marry Andy.. so back off him ladies.


Apparently ABOD is a thing? Andy Biersack Obsession Disorder?
I have it... no actually I don't. We're in love... he knows it.  (; jk bae


Bacon And Eggs BAE    I hate u Alison.

i don't know what to name this blog... so let's call it... overdosing on pineapples

Obviously, this blog is not going to be about overdosing on pineapples..... so yea.... about that... idk


I finished painting my mom's Christmas present last night..


I'm getting into writing poetry again...


And I hate people still.. nothing new.


I'm still in  love with Andy Biersack and Luke Bryan.


I have a confession to make... when I was little I would watch all of the Bring It On movies on replay, cheering to all the cheers until I memorized them all.


Holy shit... last night I actually did some of my homework... I'm steppin up in life.


The other day I was in the kitchen making pizza rolls when I looked in the family room... and there was my step dad watching something with Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin doing the "sexy girl car wash"... and I think I am scarred for life.


My friend Chelsea is sitting next  to me right now... if you read this Chels.... The color of your sweater is the color I wanna dye my hair.


Now I am listening to Suicide Silence~ You Only Live Once. Best song like ever... Rest in peace Mitch.. I love you! So... Mr. Leftridge... if you see my head banging in class... just know that I love hardcore music. I'm not a nice person like people think I am.


Yesterday I almost got in 4 fights... because people piss me off.


"If all these words you speak of meant a thing, I'd take back all the lines against you that I sing. But I know that there's nothing real inside; your hearts invested in feeding everyone lies....."


I am pissed my sweet tea is all gone.


OPEN YOUR MIND BEFORE YOUR MOUTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Yesterday I drew a purple turtle on the board in digital art; and named him Murphy... #noregrets


Once again, I am rambling on about shit.. I mean stuff that really does NOT matter.


I can't wait until Saturday!!!!

I call it.... the WTF conversation

So last night, my boyfriend called me. It started out as a normal conversation, like you know... the typical cliché cupcake phase conversations go... until this happened.
Him: I hate crayons.
Me: They hate you too!
Him: They always break when I use them.
Me: It's because you are sooooo strong and buff with your sexy abs and back muscles.
Him: pshhhh... I know
Me: cocky much?
Him: no.
Me: so you're racist against crayons?
Him: um.. yea I guess
Me: so what if I came to your house with one of those big ass jumbo blue crayons, and slit your throat with it, so your red blood pours down the blue crayon; making a puddle of purple throat blood and crayon wax that smells like defeated justice and empty promises?
Him: I don't know how to react to that....
Me: shhhhhhh.... just let my fantasies happen.


Then after that.... we started talking about the butt-thigh. You know where the top of your thigh and the bottom of your butt cheek meet? That little spot right there, is now called your butt thigh.


After that... He yells WHAT THE F*CK at the top of his lungs.
I freaked out...obviously....
And he comes to tell me that Zach Galifinakis lost a ton of weight. This CANNOT be happening...
I'm gonna miss his fat fluffy self.


Then I fell asleep....


So yea... that happened.

Just an update, and part 2 of last time....

I guess I will start this blog off with a review of last time. I had a few people read it and they agreed that I should ask this...
If you would like to, it would be greatly appreciated, if you would leave a comment with your personal opinion.
This might get personal...
Do you think that the music you listen to has something to do with your religious views?

I honestly do NOT think so. I am a Christian.. I was born and raised into a Christian family. In 8th grade, I started listening to "darker" bands whose band members are atheist. I went through this short phase where I didn't want to be a Christian. I was going through a lot of shit, and I just kind of turned away from God. When I became happy again, I started to go back in the religious path. My family started to get this stupid idea that my music taste was influencing my religious beliefs. That is complete bullshit.

This was mostly just a rant, but thinking about it; I kind of would like to get more opinions.






Okay, rant over. Here is just another update on how my life is going.
Well so you know how I said my belly piercing was ripping out? Well yea, it completely ripped out on Thursday. If you don't know how painful that is.... then I'm pretty sure it's equivalent to the pain of birthing a watermelon... or for the males on my page, think about having a wrecking ball at full speed hit you in the nuts. My point is, very painful.
I'm gonna let my ADHD take over a second; some kid said a joke in my class today. Idk who is was but the joke made me giggle.
Why did the cow cross the street?
To get to the utter side.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (:
Anyway, I had the BEST frickin' weekend of my life!!!! Well it started on Thursday, I had a field trip and I got Starburst. That's a whole story to itself. On Friday, this guy I like asked me out. We had pizza at my house and 'watched' Psycho. Which was a very creepy movie I might add. Then we went to McDonald's to see if any of my friends were up there. Nope.... just a bunch of preppy bitches.
My boyfriend, Michael got annoyed... so we went back to my house then took him home for the night.
On Saturday, he came over again. We watched TV and then he turned down the lights and turned off the TV and we danced. He sang me this song... and GAHHHHHHHHHH HE'S SO PERFECT (: <3
I called my best friend Alison and she took us to the mall. Michael told me his life story on the roof of Macy's. It was kinda romantic I might add. I am probably going to bring his to the Friendship Dance. Pictures of us to come (:

That is all for now I guess..... Except my poor doggy... :( My smoke alarm keeps beeping and poor Shadow is terrified. She jumped up on my lap, (currently on my lap while I type this long and boring blog), and she is shaking.

I want to say Rest in Peace to Avina Selena, my friends dog. I love you girl!
Oh.. and thank you Taylor, for drawing an alpaca on my hand today in Fashion Design.

Oh one more rant... I hate the teacher that is failing me for no good reason but being a butthole.

Am I... could I possibly be... SATAN'S CHILD?

When I was in the 8th grade I started listening to this band, Black Veil Brides. They instantly became my favorite band. 8th grade year was rough for me, I went through my very first heartbreak. I started dressing in all black, dark heavy eyeliner.... They called me "emo".... Was emo really the right label. Emo is some stereo-typical label for people who listen to heavy/death metal "screamo" music, shop at Hot Topic, and cut themselves. Well I did listen to heavy metal, I did shop at Hot Topic, and I was going through a rough time where I would cut myself to ease the pain of my aunt's passing... but I wouldn't consider myself "emo". My mom thought it was just a phase, everything would change soon. No one knew about my scars, until second semester... of sophomore year. Things got better freshman year, and the first part of sophomore year. When December of sophomore came, something clicked. To this day I don't know what it was, but I'm happy where I am now. 2 years ago, I got with the wrong crowd... got into drugs and drinking. In February, I was sent to rehab for the first time, for a suicide attempt. At the time, I hated being in there, but looking back it helped me a lot. I have been there a couple times now, and I finally got on the right medication. Through that tough time, music was my only escape. I would listen to Black Veil Brides, because the message they send to their fans is beautiful. I can relate to the lead singer, Andy, because he was bullied in life. One day, my 'great aunt' had to butt in. I hadn't met this woman, so I'm like who the hell is this commenting on my Facebook page? She would say a whole bunch of God stuff, and tell me that the music I was listening to was the devil's music. She told my great uncle who was my grandma's brother, that she was worried about me. To this day, I hate that woman. She started something that the music I listened to was about suicide. Like no, you haven't even listened to them.
I got into paranormal stuff. Like playing with Ouija boards. My life took a turn for the worst...
I've been through counseling, hospitals, rehab...
It is now Senior year. For the first time in 4 years, I can now say I am happy. I am 3 months clean of cutting. I am worried one day I will relapse; but for now I am staying strong, all because of Andy and his music. I still listen to metal.. but that doesn't make me suicidal. The music I listen to is not turning me against God. I am happy the way I am right now.


The message of this blog, is that YOU can overcome ANYTHING. Whether it be a death of a loved one, bullying, .... anything. Just believe in yourself and stick to what you know.
Stay strong! <3

My weekend + belly button blood = CHOCOLATE PUDDING??????

On Thursday, my best friend Ethan, came home from college for a visit. I met him and my other best friend Alison up at McDonald's. It was so great to have the gang back together, since we have all been the Three Musketeers since my sophomore year. It all started in Mr. Stein's French 1 class. All the good memories started there. Then on Friday, the three of us went to the mall. We were all so exhausted so we went home. Saturday was super fun.... except I don't remember most of it. I remember we rented the movie Neighbors and got some Imo's pizza. We went to Alison's house to watch it. That movie was......interesting..... idk how else to explain it..... Then anyways, we said goodbye to Ethan.
Sunday.... I slept all day.




Anyway, today is Wednesday and I thought it was gonna be a good day. Half day of school and then babysitting. Which means I will be at my grandma's house.... which means..... 50000000 cups of CHOCOLATE PUDDING. I usually only get 2... but if I tell my grandma what I woke up to this morning, maybe I will get 4. I woke up this morning.. too early I might add, to realize I overslept the blood red moon thing. Whatever! I felt this stinging like thing on my belly button. I look down to realize my belly button piercing is half ripped out. FANTASTIC...


hopefully today gets better.

My weekend

I had probably one of the best weekends of  my life this past weekend. On Friday night, I went to the gym that my mom works out at, and I got to meet Jim Edmonds. He signed a baseball I got, and then HE asked ME to take a selfie with him. I was soooooo happy! Then I got a smoothie from Smoothie King. On Saturday, I went to the Art Museum with my mom. Then my friend Alison, picked me up and we had quite the adventure driving around town. Here's all the places we went:


Car Wash ~ don't ask... never put 2 blondes together to do a project
Bread Co. ~ Alison wanted a smoothie
McDonald's ~ we got a large drink then sat outside for a while and left
South County Mall ~ to get new shoes and stalk cute boys
Yo My Goodness ~ who doesn't want a little fro yo?
Subway ~ dinner
The Loop at like 9:30 ~ just to walk around... I got some Pokki... Japanese food... nasty
McDonald's at 10:30 ~ get a free refill


Then on Sunday I got Mexican food with my dad and my grandma. We went back to my grandma's house and watched the movie, Haunting Sarah. It was good but lame.